In August, I turned 40. I went to Greece to celebrate and it was freaking spectacular. The food, the views, the company... it was truly the trip of a lifetime.
I know this is supposed to be a major milestone, being "over the hill" and approaching some kind of mid-life crisis, but I don't feel any different and I don't feel old, which I will gladly take as a win. My life feels pretty much the same as it has been since Dave died and for the most part, I feel pretty good on a day-to-day basis. I'm happy and healthy, I have a roof over my head, my son is thriving, and that's pretty much all I can ask for. I truly have no complaints.
With each passing year, I continue to learn more about myself and what I will and will not tolerate, and the last year in my 30s was no exception. It was truly a period of growth for me. As I embrace this next decade of my life, there are a few things I picked up over the last decade that are worth sharing.
While I love meeting new people, I don't necessarily need to make new friends. Yes, meeting and chatting new people is awesome and I enjoy it, but that is not synonymous with becoming best friends and keeping in constant contact. I hardly have enough time to keep up the friends I've had for 20+ years, let alone new friends. That doesn't mean I don't like people - I do. But my life is hectic enough as a solo parent with a full time job, a kid in extracurricular activities and the desire to want to have SOME down time. It's nothing against the new acquaintances, but it's tough for me and I hope people don't take it personally.
I'm truly blessed with the friends I have, and the longevity of those relationships. This goes back to the reference of my life being hectic. I'm very grateful that, even though with my crazy schedule, I still have friends in my life that check in on me and still invite me to social events. Even if my past attendance is sporadic, being included means the world to me. Especially when I'm lucky enough to make it work and show up to something.
I cannot accept every invitation. While it's nice to receive invitations to social gatherings me, I can't pencil everything under the sun into my calendar. If I did, I would be so run down and tired that it would make me a miserable human. And trust me, nobody wants to see that. So, when I polite decline an invite, it's not because I don't want to hang out, it's because I know what's best for me and my limited time.
My time is valuable. This is true on a personal and professional level. Do not waste my time because I'm not going to waste yours. It's as plain and simple as that. Time is precious and if it can be spent doing something more meaningful, you better believe that's what I'm going to do.
Your happiness is not my responsibility. I am not here to be a people pleaser, and your issues are not for me to solve. That doesn't mean I won't try to offer help to someone who needs it because I do care about people and want the best for them. Ultimately, it's up to them to solve their problem for themselves.
It's ok for me to want something different. As I get older, my priorities have changed. My goals are not the same as they were 10 years ago. And I'm sure in another 10 years, they'll look different again. Maybe it'll be about the people I surround myself with, or maybe it'll be related to my career. However my path changes as I get older, I welcome the changes and desire for different things with open arms.
I have a limit for how much gossip and drama I'll allow into my life. I'm not in high school, and I don't care to be around or talk to people who act like they still are. I am happy and prefer to not waste my energy and time fueling a conversation that doesn't fulfill me.
It's ok to fall in love again. Those that truly know me know I love fiercely and with my entire being. On the flip side of that, pain and loss I have experiences has mad me incredibly cautious with who I allow access to my mind, heart and soul. Sometimes to the point where I have pushed people away. Allowing oneself to love the right person - the one who is right for you - is incredibly freeing, uplifting, and fulfilling. I hope that everyone in this world can feel a deep, endless love for someone at least once in their lifetime.
There's something beautiful about growing older. I'm only 40, and I am so grateful and lucky to continue on this journey. I may be growing older, but I'm not done learning and I'm certainly not done living. I have so many more plans and memories to create. I get to continue to watch my son grow and learn, and become a man. I'm so excited for what the future holds.
I still have a lot to learn. Growth season is never truly over for me. Nor should it be for anyone else. Growth is exciting snd new. It's invigorating. If you're not learning and growing, you're stagnant and never truly reaching your full potential.
I am blessed beyond measure to continue on my path of growth. I may be 40, but sometimes I feel like my life is just beginning. I can't wait to see what the universe has in store for me, and you, too.
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