I think we can all agree that the year 2020 can kick rocks. From COVID-19 and murder hornets to social injustices and riots, this year has pretty much gone to hell in a handbasket. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: it is no wonder that the importance of mental health has been talked about so frequently. My heart breaks daily for everyone who has been hurting this year due to a myriad of reasons, and there are days I wish I could wrap my arms around the Earth and give it a huge hug. And not just like a quick hug and release – I want to make it one of those long, awkward hugs. Or maybe even a tackle-hug.
The events that have occurred thus far have prompted me to do a lot of self-discovery these days. It started early-April. I had been feeling out of sorts and I couldn’t get my brain to shut down at night. There were days where I would be easily agitated. Other days, I felt like my brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders and I couldn’t focus. I needed to figure out what the hell was going on so I could get my mind right. I wasn’t depressed or unhappy per say, but I felt stuck spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I felt like I was simply going through the motion’s day after day with little to no passion. I desperately wanted to feel more joy.
I had committed to working out more and getting back on strict diet (which has paid off), reading and listening to podcasts again, and I started diving deeper into my meditation practice, but I kicked it up a notch on May 1 with the 28-day gratitude practice outlined in The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. This book came recommended to me by a dear friend after I shared with her about my recent personal struggles about how I was feeling at a stand-still with certain aspects of my life. If you’re unfamiliar with this book, it’s the third book in Byrne’s four-book series that includes The Secret, The Power, Hero, and The Magic, and it brings together various teachings, revelations, and scientific law to form 28 simple gratitude practices that open the reader's eyes to a new world full of possibilities. I bought it off Amazon for my Kindle app on my iPad that same day and, holy shit, am I glad that I did because it has made a world of difference in my overall well-being.
The simple act of having gratitude can change your life because it forces you to shift your focus to things that you are, well, grateful for. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever said, “thank you” and really meant it? If so, do you recall how that made you feel physically, emotionally and mentally? When you saturate these two simple words with love and gratitude, you can feel the positive effects of it immediately and they can improve your life more than you’ve ever imagined.
So, what did this magical gratitude practice entail? It started with me writing down what my dreams were. From what I want from my relationships, what my life goals are, and my ultimate dream job to goals for my family, health, and finances. I needed to get clear about what I truly wanted out of life before I could begin the practice. I spent a couple days writing these specific details down in a journal (by the way, if you decide to do this practice, I recommend getting a journal or notebook that is solely dedicated to your daily gratitude). Once completed, I was ready for the first day, which started with counting 10 blessings that I was grateful for, writing them out in my journal, and saying aloud the words “thank you” after writing and reading each one. Each day after that started off with counting my 10 blessings and then ended with me thanking the Universe (for you, it might be God, Spirit, etc., whatever you feel most comfortable with) for the best thing that had happened to me that day. Those two practices were completed every day regardless of what day I was on; therefore, I completed three gratitude practices a day for 28 days. The daily practices were easy to do and didn’t take much time, and I found that as I did them, it became second nature – part of my daily routine. Around day 11, I didn’t need to remind myself anymore to do it – it just happened.
Over the course of these 28 days, I noticed my mindset shifting and becoming more positive. I felt happier more often. I was actually excited to get up at 5am and start my day, and I even had more energy to do so. I started to feel negative thoughts and emotions melt away. I let go of past notions of who I thought I was supposed to be and truly found myself. I forgave people who had wronged me in the past, and even though they had caused me pain, I was able to thank them for the experience and the lesson I learned from it. I no longer felt like I was falling apart, but rather shedding the things that were holding me back and falling into place. I realized that I could stop holding onto pieces that no longer fit me, and I let them go. I transformed. I felt incredible. I learned a great deal, and some of those key learnings are:
You can do anything for 28-days straight – it’s not difficult.
Every single day, life is full of blessings. When you have opened your eyes to the truth of this you will have opened your heart to the magic of life, and your life will be abundant and magnificent.
If you find you are not feeling happy, you can increase your practice of gratitude. Do more than the bare minimum.
Always look for the goodness in every circumstance because it is there.
There is always something to be grateful for – your health, work, successes, money, relationships, passions, nature, material goods and services, and really anything else you can think of.
Just because the 28-day-practice is over doesn’t mean I’ve stopped practicing gratitude. Now, I typically complete a minimum of one gratitude practice a day. Sometimes, I do two. On days where I am feeling really ambitious, I’ll knock out three daily practices. Honestly, I am probably going to go for round two with this 28-day practice because the structure of it had such a profound impact on my life.
An added benefit is that I have been sharing my gratitude learnings with my son, Parker. For example, one rainy Monday morning, I was on my way to drop Parker off at my Mom’s house for the day. It was garbage pick-up day, and I left at the same time the truck was coming down my street. Rather than get irritated that I was going to be stuck for a few extra minutes behind this garbage truck, I sat there patiently waiting, and silently thank these men for doing their job. Then I heard Parker let out a heavy sigh from the backseat ask, “What is taking them so long?” Here was my opportunity to share the day 10 practice – Magic Dust Everyone. For this practice, you think about the people you encounter on any average day who provide a service of any sort, and you thank them for their service. It’s difficult to personally thank everyone who provides you a service, though. In that case, you can sprinkle them with magic dust by saying “thank you” silently or by mentally acknowledging them the next time you pass one of them, and feel deeply grateful to them for the service they’ve performed. I explained to Parker that the garbage-men were doing their job and without them, the garbage would be left on the curb and start to pile up, so we need to be thankful and grateful to them for showing up to do their job – especially when it’s crummy outside, like it was that day (it happened to be raining pretty hard). We chatted for a few more minutes about this and you want to know how I felt after this conversation? GRATEFUL! Grateful that I didn’t allow myself to become irritated that the garbage truck was blocking the road, and grateful that I was able to have a meaningful conversation about it with Parker and teach him a little something about the power of gratitude.
Before I close this post out, I’d like to leave you with these final thoughts…
Every day we wake up in the morning, we have a choice. We can choose to have a great day, or we can choose to let life overwhelm us to the point where we feel that if something can go wrong, it will. I could easily let the loss of my husband and dad, my financial hardships, and medical and behavioral issues with my son turn me into a cynical, anxiety ridden, ungrateful asshole, but I choose not to. And not just because I want to live my best life, but because my son is watching me; observing me and my actions, and I owe it to him (and myself) to be the best version of myself that I can be. So instead, I choose to see the glass as half-full every single damn day. I choose to have an attitude of gratitude because the latter is simply not an option. I hope you will do the same.
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