When I was little, I thought I was invincible. I thought that everyone lived to be a grandparent (back then, I was certain you had to at least be in your 60s to be one) and people only died because they were old, and because of the long, fruitful life that they lived, God decided it was time to call them home. Or, they died because something sudden happened, like they had a heart attack (again, because of old age causing their poor heart to not be as strong as it used to be) or a freak car accident. Regardless, back then, I didn’t understand the magnitude of disease and how it could slowly ravage someone’s body without them ever even knowing. I didn’t understand that it didn’t matter how young or healthy you were – disease of any kind, visible or not, does not discriminate.
Dave was sick and died suddenly and unexpectedly at the very young age of 34. On the outside, Dave was like any other average man his age. There wasn’t anything physically wrong with him. Mentally, he struggled with severe anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and later, addiction.
Now, my brother-in-law Phil is sick. He was diagnosed with a gnarly stage 4 glioblastoma in March, at the age of 34. While the tumor hasn’t gotten any larger, unfortunately, the cancer has metastasized into his spine, which apparently can happen in 2-4 percent of people with this type of cancer. Go figure, right?
What I went through losing Dave, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. And now Krista – someone I view as a sister – and my nieces and nephews are currently going through this traumatic experience, trying to wrap their heads around the enormity of it all. And not just them, but the rest of my in-laws as well. I mean, Jesus Christ, how much can one family take? And yeah, we’ve all heard the saying “God only gives us what we can handle,” but right now, I call bullshit. This should not have been part of God’s overall grand plan. They don’t deserve this. Yet here we are trying to prepare for what’s to come … but can you ever really be prepared, though? Let’s be honest – you can do all the right things and check all the boxes to trick your brain into thinking you’re prepared, but when the time comes to say goodbye, you won’t be.
When Dave died, I was so lost, I thought I would never be found again. I had no money. I didn’t have car insurance. I didn’t know how I was going to keep my house or pay my bills. I was lucky and fortunate enough to have amazing friends in my life who started a GoFundMe fundraiser to help me pay for funeral costs. My father-in-law started a college fund for Parker. My parents provided financial support as well and gave me and Parker a place to stay until I was of sound enough mind to go back to my own house. My mother-in-law took care of my dogs for about six months. Without the support of my family and friends, I sometimes wonder if I would’ve survived all of it.
Krista is now in the same boat and needs all the support she can get. They have six kids. Phil used to be the main provider, and he worked hard to make sure his family was taken care of. Now, that responsibility falls solely on Krista. Yes, she has her baking business (and she’s damn good at what she does), but she is a caregiver and mom first and foremost. Caring for someone with cancer is no small feat, let alone doing it while raising six kids ranging from the age of 16-3. As parents, we understand that we are basically required to be “on call” for whatever parenting need may arise, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – from scrapped knees and fights between siblings, to playing board games and reading bedtime story requests – but the situation Krista is currently in takes that to a whole other level. While she loves baking, she doesn’t have nearly enough time to do it like she did before, so she has cut down significantly on the orders she fulfills.
Krista and her kids are in for a long, tough road ahead of them, and they need support now more than ever. Please consider donating in any way, whether it be monetary through their GoFundMe page or bringing them some food via the meal train. Anything you can do to help is greatly appreciated.
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