Every morning since my sons first day of kindergarten, when I'm on my way to drop him off at either my mom's house or school, I ask him, "What are you?" His response is always, "Brave, strong, smart and kind." We started this in kindergarten because, to be completely frank, he needed to be reminded. He needed to know that the hurricane of emotions he was feeling was OK. He needed to know there wasn't anything wrong with him and that he would always have support. He needed too ok know that he was just like all the other kids in school.
Losing his dad, grandpa, and then going through the gauntlet to get his seizure disorder under control was stressful on him. Fast forward to today and we've figured it out. He's happy and healthy, but he still hurts every now and then. And what makes it worse is when other kids his age use his experiences against him. Especially when all he wants he wants to do and feel is normal.
As a solo-parent, I am constantly questioning myself and whether or not I am doing the right thing. Am I being too overprotective? Am I not protective enough? Am I too hard on him? Am I too soft? Have I created a safe space for him to feel like he can talk to me about anything? I try to hide my constant worry from him and it's exhausting.
The things that my kid has been through means that he feels hard and deep. In our house, we address our emotions and talk about them. I have taught my son that it's ok to have big feelings and it's ok to talk it share what's bothering us.
I am absolutely terrified of my son getting bullied because of the way that he processes his emotions. There is too much hate and too much bullying happening out in the world and the end result of that is heartbreaking. To read more and more often about kids taking their lives by suicide destroys me.
I wish more than anything that children can have a safe space to talk about their feelings and emotions. I want them to know it's ok to feel the way they do. That it's ok to feel anxious, or angry, or sad, or whatever. I want my child to always know that they can talk to me about anything and that they can share how they're feeling. Being communicative is critical and I want my child to always feel like they can talk to me about anything.
It is so much easier to be kind. It takes so much more energy to be filled with hate all the time. It has to be exhausting to constantly hold onto anger, hate, etc. And what does it even accomplish? Not a damn thing. The world needs more empathy, more kindness, more understanding, more sympathy. If we want our kids to act in this manner and be the change we need in this world, it starts with us as parents. Our kids lead by example and we need to be good examples for our children.
Comments