Fair warning… this post is raw. Raw with emotion. Because playing the role of both Mom and Dad is hard. Plain and simple. It is fucking difficult. And it gets harder with each passing day. There isn’t a handbook out there to help you navigate through life when you lose your spouse or partner, the person who was supposed to be by your side through thick and thin to help raise and mold your child. There aren’t any guidelines that explain how you’re supposed to fulfill both roles of Mom and Dad. So, you’re stuck trying to figure it out as you go, praying to God you’re doing the right thing so you don’t screw your child up even more than they already might be because they’ve lost a parent.
Wearing both pairs of shoes, you don’t have the luxury of playing good cop, bad cop. You can’t respond to your child’s question with, “Go ask your Dad” (or Mom). No… you don’t get any kind of reprieve because you are it, all of the time, forever and ever, amen. YOU are the one who has to reprimand them and instill confidence in them at the same time. YOU are the one who needs to get them jacked up for game they’re about to play, and console them if they get hurt. YOU are the enforcer, the fixer, the provider … everything. While it is the most rewarding job in the world, it’s definitely not easy.
To those of you who are doing this parenting thing on your own, I just want to say I see you, stand with you, and I am here for you. I will never pass judgement on your parenting style because I know what it’s like to have to fulfill both roles of Mom and Dad. Keep doing your best because your best is enough.
I needed hear this 💛 I'm new to this dad role that I'm playing now, to my 4 year old son. I hope I'm doing everything right. I know I will always be there for him and work my hardest to make him safe, happy and healthy and most of all feel loved 👩👦